


Sweet Cotton Candy

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Not Canon Compliant - The Homestuck Epilogues, Other, Polyamory, Sex, Size Difference, Trans Roxy Lalonde, Vore, You can skip the vore don't worry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-07
Updated: 2020-04-08
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:08:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23533564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: With her political career in shambles, Jane Crocker finds a glimmer of hope through an unlikely source.A date, a kiss, and a glimpse at some alien biology leaves her with feelings newly resurfaced for a man she never thought of as more than her friend.
Relationships: Calliope/Jane Crocker/Roxy Lalonde, Calliope/Roxy Lalonde, Jane Crocker/Roxy Lalonde
Kudos: 6





	1. Jane's Resignation

**Author's Note:**

> Essentially everything NSFW in the tags takes place in the second chapter with the third being a short epilogue. Feel totally free to skip it if none of them appeal to you.

Jane’s political career was in complete and utter turmoil. The oval office was a buzzing hive of noise as phones rang without end. Her secretary had long since quit, there were a number of Troll students running about the halls as their tour guide failed to show up to work, and worst of all she hadn’t even had the time to put on hairspray this morning.

Jane: Well how on Earth was I to know that the Carapacians are a protected legal class?! Hold please.  
Jane: No, no listen I- Sorry, please hold.  
Jane: Yes? What? No, this isn’t the office of Public Transit please hold as I direct you.  
Jane: Yes? No, really, I ought to be- Gah!! Please hold again.  
Jane: Yes??? What can I do for you?! Not that it’ll matter much considering I’m to be IMPEACHED in a days’ time!!!  
Dirk: …  
Dirk: Jesus. That bad this soon?  
Jane: Dirk!!!

Jane collapsed back in her oval office chair, phone chord twirling around her. The receiver was buzzing with a million little red lights from angry constituents but, well, she really needed a second to herself. 

Jane: Thank heavens you’re here. Being the president wasn’t all it’s baked up to be!  
Dirk: Well, if it makes you feel any better, none of this matters anymore.  
Jane: I do beg your pardon?  
Jane: It’s impeachment Dirk! And not like the shitty kind Earth had  
Jane: What with Clownmandering turning the whole American system into a complete and utter circus, no pun intended.  
Jane: It’s capital “I” Impeachment!! I’m facing serious charges here!  
Dirk: Like I said, it don’t matter now.  
Jane: But!-  
Dirk: Listen, Janey. You trust me, right?  
Jane: Well, about as much as I did when you had the bright idea of me running in the first gosh darn place!!!  
Dirk: Yeah, exactly. So trust me when I say this:  
Dirk: You ain’t gonna get impeached.  
Dirk: In fact, you’re going to shock the nation when you hand in your resignation today. Effective immediately.   
Jane: My… My what?!?  
Jane: Strider you can’t possibly be serious-  
Dirk: Hey.  
Dirk: Come on Janey, we both know it’s over.  
Dirk: Besides. I’ve got something far more important for you to do.  
Jane: And what ever could be more important than running a planet???

Dirk Strider gazed out over the endless seas of stars, his own pale reflection staring back through the glass panes. He snapped his flip phone shut; the model ripped straight from a timeline where they never went out of fashion.

Rosebot: Who was that?  
Dirk: No one important. Not in their timeline at least.  
Rosebot: Really?

Rose hovered into Dirks throne room, incredibly shitty anime posters plastered over every square inch of the space. A space heater glowed next to his desk. She’d been worried he’d lose what little melatonin he had left without it.

Rosebot: Even though I know precisely the context of whats to happen and understand the full complexities of Paradox Space its…  
Dirk: Surprising that scenarios like this still happen?  
Rosebot: Precisely.  
Rosebot: …  
Rosebot: You really should stop hogging the narrative you know. 

Dirk nods, a twinkle in those jagged glasses of his. These may be his childhood friends he’s leading down this path but, well, it’s an alternate timeline. It’s almost not even morally reprehensible. Almost.

He flips open the phone again, the correct number already pulled up through the conveniences of 22nd century technology.

Dirk: Roxy.  
Dirk: I’ve got a date for y’all. 

Roxy sat, fidgeting at the hems of his suit. The restaurant was quiet with politely muffled conversation, a trickle of water and a jazz quartet providing excellent background noise for him overanalyzing every little thing about himself. For one: the fashion. Was this really a black-tie event? Did the blue coat add or detract from the grey blazer? Oh there were so many social taboos he never learned about living in the middle of the ocean!

The squeak of a chair snapped Roxy from his over analysis.

Roxy: calli!  
Calliope: Hi Roxy! ^u^

The two embraced, Calliope’s bony head pressing into Roxy’s upper chest.

Roxy: you look great!!

Calliope blushed, batting aside the compliment.

Calliope: Not as good as yoU!!  
Roxy: shushhhh ur way better lookin! *blush blush blush*

Calliope had gone all out for the occasion. Green suit, cherry red bowtie, and a pair of slacks ironed so straight you’d wonder if they’re repressing something. They had on a wig, beautiful locks of hair fluttering down a full three feet to their knees.

Calliope: it is so nice to finally have time to do this sort of thing roxy!  
Roxy: hehe ur tellin me girl

The two took their seats, a blue-blooded Troll waiter promptly getting their drink orders and promising an order of breadsticks to be on its way. A moment passed in silence before Calliope brought up the elephant in the room.

Calliope: so, Um. what’s with the third chair?

Roxy giggled, the pensive air clearing like smoke.

Roxy: well! I knewww the two of us had considered somethin like this and, well!  
Roxy: Old Dirky did a lil matchmaking of his own and!  
Roxy: well be expectin some extra company tonight ;P  
Calliope: :U!!

Jane Crocker stood outside the restaurant. Everything about this felt off. Meeting a non-disclosed person at such a vulnerable location. I mean, good heavens imagine if one were to attempt an assassination! Nevertheless, here she was. She couldn’t say she was _thrilled_ at this whole prospect. In fact, if she hadn’t held Dirk in such high esteem, she may not be here at all.

She strolled inside and began to tell the quivering Troll teller her reservation before stopping herself midway. Of course he knew who she was. She was the bloody president! For tonight more at least. She’d left the note on her desk when she left, intending for her Vice to discover it tomorrow morn and announce to the world Earth C’s first disgraced president.

Enough, Janey. She snapped herself out of that spiral of negativity. The date didn’t help that anxiety though. It’s not as though she’d been _un_ succesful in past romantic endeavors, it was more that they never tended to last as long as she’d like. Jake had proved a fun distraction from the stresses of executive life, but his eyes proved too big for his stomach. Discovering your boyfriend smooching a picture of your second-best friend wasn’t exactly a pleasant thing to find before your morning coffee. Dirk similarly had proven more elusive still. All but her most obvious flirts had fallen like feathers against a brick wall. She’d even been desperate enough to consider some of her descendants’ friends for a moment or two, though considering they seemed to exist in a perpetual state of confused and overwhelmed flustered nonsense in terms of romance, well, she didn’t want to overcomplicate things.

Don’t even get her started on Troll romance. She was no xenophobe, sure, but their quadrant system was just too much of a headache to keep up with. Plus, well. Her head ached just a bit thinking about it. She tried not to think too much on a childhood spent primarily behind a screen rich with propaganda emphasizing Troll superiority but, well. It took a toll.

She paced into the larger dining hall, a few heads snapping in her direction. She tried not to let it show how bad the glares were getting to her. The table she was to meet at was near the back, perfectly wedged in its little nook between a babbling waterfall and just about the cutest little Salamander family she’d ever seen.

Roxy: jane?

Her heart sank, fluttered, and committed suicide all in the span of a half second.

Jane: Oh! Roxy, dear. What a coincidence to be seeing you here of all places!

Jane’s face flushed brighter than the Green Sun. Of all the places to run into a neglected friend, it was her date night.

Roxy: well im glad youre here!  
Roxy: calli and I are just waitin on our third date!  
Jane: Your…

Her face scrunched in momentary confusion, then flushed bright with anger. Dirk that utter conniving bastard.

Jane: Well.  
Jane: I’ve more than a couple braincells to know what’s going on here.  
Roxy: :?  
Jane: Roxy my dear I do believe we are all the fools of a rather elaborate jape!  
Jane: One manufactured out of equal parts my ignorance and Dirkonian maliciousness.  
Roxy: uh  
Calliope: oh bUt, please won’t yoU at least come and have a seat?  
Calliope: I believe the food is already on its way! u_u

Jane hesitated. Her heart is punctured, the stunning man-fest she’d been expecting tonight having evaporated up in smokes. Then again, it _had_ been a while since she’d last hung out with Roxy for any extended period of time. Calliope too, she doubted they’d exchanged more than a few handfuls of words since the end of the game.

Besides, it’s not as though this was a serious date or anything. She’d never even considered Roxy as a potential partner, his numerous advances as a teenager laughed off as drunken remarks. Then in Calliope’s case, well. She wasn’t a xenophobe, but interspecies relationships had always just felt… off to her. I mean, goodness, she wasn’t one to judge by looks but she was pretty sure Calliope was more bone than flesh.

Jane: Well, golly I…  
Jane: Shucks, why not. :B  
Roxy: :DDDDDDDDDDD  
Calliope: ^u^

Jane giggled and slid herself onto the third chair, the faintest of purple-lipstick smears left behind as she sipped her water. Their waiter returned with a basket of breadsticks and Jane took to idly amusing herself nibbling at the ends of one.

Jane: So, erm- is this something the two of you do… often?  
Roxy: oh! datin? Yeah, all the time lmao  
Jane: Oh I meant the, well…

She snapped the breadstick in half, jaw clenched. Was she really going to have to spell this out for them? Her eyes bounced between the two of them. Calliope’s bony claw wrapped so delicately around Roxy’s own, rough hand. A strange feeling rose from the pit of her stomach, she hoped it just indigestion.

Roxy: well anyway, how’ve you been Janey?  
Calliope: yes! it has been qUite a while since either of Us have seen or spoken to yoU!  
Jane: As you’ve imagined the presidency is quite a consuming job.  
Jane: One must have a quick eye for support in Congress, or the ever-present threat of assassination!  
Jane: Just because one’s a god-tier doesn’t excuse their vigilance!  
Jane: I’d reckon you’d do some good to stay on your toes yourself, Roxy!  
Roxy: oh?

Jane’s point was lost as the waiter arrived with their dishes. Especially odd considering Jane didn’t recall ordering anything, yet here in front of her: her favorite lobster dish.

Roxy quickly dove into his plate of what looked like a platter of gelatinized pizza, a few bits of pepperoni floating through the liquid. Jane tore her eyes from that disgusting amalgamation and glanced at Calliope’s meal, a cooked steak with… several chunks of caramelized candy sticking out of it. 

Jane was now rather certain the glob brewing inside her _was_ a rather awful case of disgust.

Jane: I’m… sorry but, is that really what the two of you order at a restaurant like this?

She broke the silence, interrupting Roxy as he attempted to see how many pepperonis could fit on a single fork.

Roxy: well, sure I mean  
Roxy: I guess I got used to canned food back on Earth  
Roxy: it really doesn’t taste half bad, wanna try?

Jane looked like she’d rather swallow a live snake than get anywhere near that half-eaten abomination.

Jane: Look, dears why don’t we just, erm  
Jane: Get out of here?  
Jane: Back to one of your homes perhaps?

Roxy raised an eyebrow and proceeded to lower and raise it no less than twenty times.

Roxy: ohohohohh, janeyyy  
Roxy: didnt know u were that much of a flirrttt *winkwinkwinkwink*  
Calliope: hehe!

Jane flushed brighter than the pepperonis.

Jane: Well!  
Jane: I!  
Jane: That’s!!  
Jane: Not anything like!!  
Jane: To suggest I’d-!

Roxy laughed and shot out of their chair, dragging along Jane as he left a couple extra Boonbucks for the tip. Calliope skipped after them, Jane still blubbering objections all the way to the Transportalizer. 

When, minutes later, the three materialized in Roxy’s apartment, Jane had gotten her fair share of objections out. None of them came close to a coherent sentence.

Roxy: jeez janey

Roxy helped Calliope out of their suit jacket, cherub smiling contently in the home’s newfound warmth.

Roxy: if I’d have known you’d be like this I’d have suggested this years ago  
Jane: Like what!! I’ll have you know I’m acting perfectly normal given the circumstances.  
Roxy: Normal under whose definition exactly?

Roxy began shuffling through the liquor cabinets. It’d been a few months since he’d touched the stuff, in moderate doses here and there, but if that’s what it took to get Jane to lose the nerves then bon app the teeth, here comes the drunk juice.

Minutes trickled away into hours as the two caught up. Jane, after inhaling the first glass or two, had begun tampering off, cheeks blazed and hiccups aplenty. She’d gone off about all the stresses and indulgences of presidential life, how her majority whip never delivered, how Troll delegates never seemed to respect that there was a very practical reason why the office closed at night, and the state of Neoliberalism in the world today.

Roxy struggled to wrap his head around any of that.

Jane: and with trade barriers lowered between nations, comparative advantage allows for a more equal economic system all around!  
Jane: I mean! I don’t know what the dickens Dave and all the other labour members have against it!  
Jane: It’s simple Smithian economics!!  
Jane: And _don’t_ get me started on the utter shambles those fucks have left the BANKS in!  
Roxy: Yo, Janey.  
Jane: I mean! Whose poppycock idea was it to regulate the private market??  
Roxy: Jaaaneeee  
Jane: An economic collapse every 5 years is a gross oversimplification of Crocker economics  
Roxy: JANE  
Jane: Hm?  
Roxy: Babe, love you but please  
Roxy: for the both of us  
Roxy : please give it a rest.

Jane slumped back into the couch, Roxy with his legs spread wide on an adjacent chair, Calliope nestled between their legs. They were right, she supposed. In 8 hours it’s not like any of this would really matter.

Roxy: Jane, somethin’s been eatin you up  
Roxy: and don’t try to lie and play it off cool  
Roxy: you’ve had somethin on your mind since you came here tonight.  
Jane: …

She bit her lip. Not a hard thing to do passively when your buck teeth nearly have that thing grappled 24/7. She was the one who penned the letter, dotting every i and neglecting every t and yet… throughout it all she’d felt as though in a haze, drifting from line to line, outlining her own failings as a president with unusual self-reflection, self-awareness she hadn’t known herself to possess until now. But now, to actually say it out loud, to voice that the one dream she’d had since childhood now sat sullied on her desk was… it was just so…

No, no no no no! She was _not_ crying right now.

Roxy: Janey!  
Calliope: jane?

Tears were streaming down her impeccably fluffed cheeks, smearing hours of hard labor making herself as appealing as possible. Yet, here at her most vulnerable, she felt the hard tug of Roxy’s bony arms against her chest, her friend pulling her into a tight hug. She felt Calliope’s hand brushing through her hair, head resting atop hers. Everything about them was softer than she’d imagined.

Jane: boo hoo…  
Jane: -sniff-

She wiped her snot dribbled nose after her horribly messy cry session. She was just thankful she had Roxy’s dress shirt to dump her tears into. To imagine the public, or God forbid Jake seeing her like this…

Roxy: Come on Jane, whats wrong?  
Jane: … -sniff sniff-  
Roxy: whatever it is, its alright. Ive gotcha.  
Jane: … it’s just…  
Jane: Roxy I resigned.  
Calliope: resigned… from being president?  
Calliope: are yoU even allowed to do that?  
Roxy: hey, its alright Janey  
Roxy: come on, why dont you go and lie down.  
Roxy: there we go

Roxy settled Jane down onto a pillow. Kneeling down beside her, he gently rubbed her cheek and, like a cat desperate for love, she nuzzled into it.

Jane: it’s more than that too it’s…  
Jane: Roxy-  
Roxy: Yeah?  
Jane: have you ever… felt unloved?

Roxy exchanged a glance over at Calliope. Truth be told, he had. He’d spent many years of his life actually, yearning for that gentle touch of another human being. Longing and sobbing that the one man on Earth was too gay for Roxy’s then feminine touch. But that all felt like a distant memory now. He had Calliope for companionship, his friends for whenever he felt down, and just about all the Carapacians he’d ever wanted living a life they never could’ve back on Earth.

He’d never considered that Jane, so wrapped up in the lavish of presidential life, growing up in a world filled with living, breathing, laughing humans, never had any of that.

Jane: My boyfriend leaves me for a Orville Peck wannabe  
Jane: My father seems to care more about my ecto-son than his own flesh and blood daughter  
Jane: Every one of my constituents has grown to hate me for one reason or another  
Jane: Trolls think I’m a bloody xenophobe  
Jane: And at the end of the day  
Jane: I don’t have anyone.  
Jane: no one loves me.  
Roxy: Jane…  
Calliope: …  
Roxy: you know you still have us, right?

Jane held Roxy’s hand closer to her cheek and he felt her burn. How desperately was she longing for something like this? For the simple, human desire to be touched? To be held. To be loved.

Calliope: jane  
Calliope: i have known you perhaps longest out of all of your friends  
Calliope: and even when my brother woUld bark and bicker  
Calliope: tearing Up my things  
Calliope: yoU were always there to make me feel better waking Up.  
Roxy: And Janey  
Roxy: Youve been my best friend since  
Roxy: well  
Roxy: I dont even know how long  
Roxy: and even when wed fight and shit  
Roxy: i never stopped loving you

Roxy slid onto the couch, propping Jane’s still head onto his lap.

Roxy: so when you say you aint got nobody  
Roxy: im sorry Janey but thats a load of shit  
Roxy: even if its how you feel  
Roxy: cause we aint ever gonna stop loving you

Jane could feel the tears coming on again. Just what the hell was Roxy getting at here?

Jane: but…  
Jane: well-  
Jane: you two you’re perfect for each other  
Jane: and yes I know there’s different types of love; platonic or otherwise yada yada  
Jane: but that’s not what you mean, is it?

It was Roxy’s turn to blush now. Feelings were rushing to the forefront of his cheeks. He’d had feelings for Jane since just about since he’d met her, yes, but she’d always been quite adamant that she was, in her words, “straight as a true arrow’s course!” … whatever the hell that meant. But, well, gender in his case was tricky.

Roxy: … you know I wasnt kiddin when we were kids, right?  
Roxy: callin you attractive and shit  
Roxy: i really do think your beautiful Jane.  
Roxy: and that statement aint mutually exclusive to thinking Calli is a straight up hottie either  
Roxy: and I love you Jane  
Roxy: friend or otherwise, thats not gonna change  
Roxy: ‘sides  
Roxy: ive got two hands Jane

She kissed him.

It’d all happened so fast, she’d acted without impulse and, grabbing the back of his hair, dragged Roxy down to his first kiss with a woman. His lips were rough, sloppy, and kissed like someone who’d only ever practiced on a half-skeleton. God, they were perfect. She wanted to hold him here, caught in this half breath. Why did this feel so right? It was like the last puzzle piece had snapped into place. This wasn’t love, was it? Love was supposed to be a struggle, a never-ending maze where affection was the prize, it was supposed to be earned. So why did she never want to let go when Roxy gave it out like nothing? 

And then there was Calliope.

Jane, just in this moment of intoxicated freedom, could admit she’d often thought of the alien behind the screen in her youth. That mysterious persona, the quirky British quip of their voice, the beautiful artwork they’d made. She often fantasized about if Caliborn had the personality of his sister-not sister, maybe she could have seen herself in Roxy’s shoes. But, then again, they _were_ an alien. They probably didn’t even have, erm, -that- down there. So what the hell was the difference between a male presenting one and their opposite?

Her lips finally broke with Roxy’s and, before the man had even an opportunity to breath in, she’d gone and grabbed Calliope’s head, pulling their thin lips into a smothering smooch as well. 

Roxy: Jeez Janey…

Roxy breathed, cheeks about as red as Jane’s were.

Roxy: If I knew you got like this from a little wine id have got ya intoxicated more often  
Jane: oh shush your windpipe.

Jane pulled away from a breathless Calliope, their body limp in flustered shock. Some primal part of Jane still felt wrong about this whole thing, but like hell she was going to listen to it with just how _right_ all of this felt. She’d never felt more fulfilled, more wanted, than when she had her dearest friend cupped in one hand, and the alien of her dreams swooned over her. She’d never felt so… alive!

Kisses abound followed, describing each and every one of the dozens of passionate connections hereafter worth neither your nor my time. Eventually, the trio found themselves in the bedroom, rose petals knocked off vases, and wine sloppily dripped down the front’s of just about everyone’s clothes.

Jane gently pushed Roxy and Calliope down to the bed, fully intent on taking charge of this going forward. Her face was ablaze but, from the squirming green and red cheeks underneath her, she knew she was the the most composed right now.

Jane: Roxy…  
Roxy: y-yeah?  
Jane: im gonna take your top off now if that’s alright.

Roxy bit his lip and furiously shook his head yes. Jane began unbuttoning the shirt, a sharp gasp squeaking out of Roxy as she slipped her hand down between her collarbone. With a smirk and another firm tug, Jane finished tearing the shirt apart, exposing Roxy’s bare, bound chest.

Jane: Now, Calli?  
Calliope: U-Um, yes?  
Jane: Can I take off your shirt?  
Calliope: aha, Uh…

Calliope shot Roxy a glance and, even though he was currently melting in a pile of his own shame, he understood what was going on.

Roxy: er- Janey?  
Roxy: Calli aint exactly…  
Roxy: got  
Roxy: anythin down there.

Jane quirked an eyebrow.

Jane: So just what exactly have you two been doing to… um? Well-  
Calliope: well! cherUb reprodUction is qUite different to hUman mating.  
Calliope: and in fact, I think we are not at all too compatible. :U  
Roxy: y-yeah.  
Roxy: weve been getting by with hand stuff but  
Roxy: Calli says if they ever really started going into heat or whatever yall do  
Roxy: theyd probably rip us both apart.  
Jane: Oh?

Jane’s eyes flashed with the determination of someone too drunk and far too turned on to be dissuaded by simple things like the threat of death.

Jane: Fuck it.  
Jane: Fuck it!  
Jane: Cali, how long have you been waiting to get off?  
Calliope: oh, Um!!!

Calliope flushed an even brighter green. Truth be told, they were getting to be about the age when Cherubs first starting these sorts of urges. The urge to produce a new egg, to take on their primal form and grapple another Cherub into submission. Of course, as far as they knew, they were the last Cherub left!

Jane: So come on  
Jane: Whatever kind of alien-weirdness you’ve got underneath  
Jane: I’m far past the point of indulging.

Calliope looked at Roxy for guidance. He looked just as lost as them.

Calliope: well, Um… i do assUre yoU both this  
Calliope: won’t be another candy debaUcle.  
Calliope: i am still qUite embarrassed by sending yoU that to this day.  
Calliope: bUt if yoU insist-  
Jane: Oh I _more_ than insist

Calliope yelped as Jane pulled them in closer, hand wrapped around their ass. Yeah, that was about the one place that felt as flat as it looked.

Calliope: j-jane!  
Calliope: a-are yoU sUre??  
Jane: Positively begging you you boney, delectable alien.

They yelped at Jane’s voice, her throat growling out just what she wanted. It was all just too much for the poor Cherub, they were just going to have to molt right here, friends be damned.

A magnificent flash of light temporarily blinded Jane and Roxy, a rush of hot air blasting into the room as, with a burst of energy, Calliope began to transform.

They ascended into the air, heavenly light soaking out of every pore in their body. Their eyes rolled back into their head and, as if the universe itself was strapped for words, their body began morphing into the figure of a massive snake. To say massive would be an understatement. Calliope was now nearly as tall as a skyscraper and just as thick, their body flickering and jolting through the sky as though they were still getting a hang of existing.

Jane and Roxy stood and stared up, faces bathed by the kaleidoscopic flashes emanating from Calliope’s writhing, hissing body.

Roxy: what  
Roxy: the  
Roxy: FUCK  
Roxy: did you do to my partner?!??!?!  
Jane: I…

Jane would quite like to know that herself. Stumbling back off the bed, the scene outside was only growing more chaotic. Calliope, in their new found form, seemed despondent to all attempts to yell up at them to perhaps put a pause on the earth-shattering energy spiking out of every pore on their body, or maybe to ‘cool your jets’ on the tail currently smashing through a block of city housing.

Roxy: Calli!!!

Either through sheer coincidence, or dumb luck, Calliope’s serpent head snapped to their house. They descended, face quickly filling up their field of view.

Jane: Fuck  
Roxy: Ditto

Their jaws were opening. Unhinged snake gullet loomed before them, green saliva dripping down in strands larger than the two combined. Of course, even without unhinging, Calliope looked large enough to devour the house whole.

Roxy felt Jane’s hand wrap around his, their eyes locking for but a moment before, darkness consuming them both, he summoned a barrier of cubes and braced for impact.


	2. In the belly of the Calliobeast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Swallowed by the monsterous form of Calliope, Roxy and Jane find themselves in an unfamiliar environment. The atmosphere may have changed, but their feelings for each other haven't...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please go ahead and skip this chapter if you're not into vore! The ending of the fic can be found in chapter 3 safely!

Waking up, Jane immediately noticed the smell. It was sickly sweet, like she’d gotten a car ornament made of pure, crystalized cotton candy. The next second, every other sensation hit her at once. Her body was sore, spine bent at an odd angle, limbs sprawled out over a field of half-destroyed cubes. Murky, thick liquid sloshed under her as she sat up, the mixture absolutely coating her from head to toe. Her suit was absolutely ruined, patches of it either ripped or burnt up entirely.

She gagged taking another breath in. Stinging, sour scents mixed with the burning carnage of what smelt like half-eaten meat.

Roxy: Jane?

Jane shot to attention, Roxy’s voice carrying over a small hill of churning, green flesh. The hill decompressed as she stumbled up it, her foot nearly catching and slipping a few times on the disgusting, slimy surface.

Jane: Roxy!!

Her foot snagged on a wayward, half-digested chunk of candy-corn and, arms flapping uselessly in the air, she tumbled down and into Roxy, the two collapsing into one of the pits of black sludge.

Roxy: eugh…

Roxy groaned, picking a strand of acid-covered sour-belt candy off him.

Jane: Roxy did…  
Jane: Did we just get eaten?  
Roxy: Well, lets review  
Roxy: Buncha gross food stuffs floating around us? Check.  
Roxy: What looks to be the inside of Callis guts? Check.  
Roxy: Snake mouth bein the last thin we can remember? Double check.  
Jane: Jegus…

The chamber shook around them, specks of acid showering down from a ceiling far too high up to be seen through the murky darkness. Off in the distance, something splashed down. Whether it was more candy, or another unfortunate visitor of Calliope’s digestive tract was yet to be seen.

Jane: Roxy I’m… I’m rather frightened.  
Jane: I know we’re both god-tiers but, well-  
Jane: Has anything like this ever happened before??  
Roxy: Just once

Roxy remembers the day she’d seen a glimpse of this monster. Coming home from a long day out with John and Dave only to see Calliope shuddering under a pile of blankets, refusing to come out or speak besides a few, wayward hisses. He’d chalked it up to weird, alien heat biology and left them their space. Now, to think if only he’d pushed Calliope a little further something like this could’ve happened was… frightening to say the least.

Roxy: I… I think they should be fine after a few hours.  
Roxy: Hopefully they’ll uh… spit us up before then.  
Roxy: I dont much care for dying in my partner’s stomach like some kind of meat we throw on their plate.

Roxy collapsed into one of the stomach mounds, not caring much for the sludge coating his back. Jane took a seat next to him, more splashes echoing through the cavernous body. The two sat in silence for a minute or two, sounds of digestion growling and gurgling around them. The air was getting quite hot now, each breath harder to cleanse of awful acid smell than the last.

Jane: y’know…  
Jane: if we’re going to end up dying here  
Jane: not permanently dying in all likelihood but  
Jane: dying nonetheless  
Jane: Shouldn’t we at least have a little fun before we do?

Roxy blushed.

Roxy: Seriously? You wanna have our first fuck in, uh  
Roxy: Just about the worst place you coulda picked out?  
Roxy: Im just le swooning over getting off in a pile of digestin bodies, yeah.

Jane laughed and rolled over onto Roxy, faces mere inches away. She really didn’t care about the acid coating the both of them, or the green slime smudged all across his grinning face, or the fact that they might both be dead before they’ve even come close, all she cared about now was Roxy.

Jane: I know it’s not the most romantic place  
Jane: But like you said  
Jane: It doesn’t much matter if we’re in Venice or someone’s insides  
Jane: I love you

That was about all it took. Roxy grabbed onto Jane’s head and pulled her in close, his lips touching hers once more, this time in just the right way.

Roxy: I love you too Jane

Jane’s body rubbed against his, legs wrapped about his. She was just about ready to tell him to take off his pants so she could move on down for him when she felt something hard rubbing against her leg.

Jane: Hold on  
Jane: You have a dick?

Roxy wasn’t wasting any time. His pants were already half digested and, throwing them off into the pit, he grappled Jane’s waist and began moving her over his eager dick.

Roxy: Y-yeah  
Roxy: Trans rights Jane, come on  
Roxy: Weve lived as Gods on this planet for, what? 5 years now?  
Roxy: You think I havent got time for bottom surgery?  
Roxy: I _have_ been eager to try it out though, on another person I mean.

Jane coughed and, with an utterly overwhelmed blush, went to remove her own slacks and underwear. She laughed and let Roxy take the final strand of her underwear off her legs.

Jane: B-be my guest.

She sucked in a breath through clenched teeth as Roxy penetrated her. His dick rocked up and bulged out of her chest, the tip alone stretching her just about as wide as she’d be able to go.

Roxy: G-god Jane you…  
Roxy: You feel so good around me.  
Jane: Yeah?

Jane could hardly squeak out a response, her breaths panting out with every thrust inside her. Roxy dipped his head into hers, and his other head into her, and made their love come to life.


	3. A Short Reprieve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Still dealing with the fallout from last night, Jane considers just where her feelings lie.

Roxy: eugh…  
Jane: bluh….  
Calliope: eeUUUeeeghghhhhghhgrge

The three groaned and sat up in bed. They were all totally nude, pillows and blankets splattered around them like a hurricane had just blown through here last night.

Roxy: whta htje fccUk happen….  
Jane: I… wish I could tell you…  
Calliope: im never eating candy again blUh….  
Calliope: i have sUch an awfUl stomachache.

Jane sparred a glance at Roxy as she stumbled to her feet. He looked like he was about to pass out again, arms about as limp as his dick. She blushed a bit, still remember how desperately she’d craved him inside her it… was a little worrying just how strongly she yearned for her friend. Maybe worrying was the wrong word for it. She’d never felt this passionately about someone before, not even Jake. She didn’t want to run away. These emotions were new, sure, but not bad. Not anywhere near bad.

She shuffled out into the kitchen area. News of her resignation played silently on the television screen, mentions of a massive snake attack getting eclipsed by Earth C-Span footage of Parliament pulling out the constitution to see just what the hell they were supposed to do now. She began boiling a pot of coffee and, leaning against the counter, noticed Calliope stepping out into the room.

Jane: hey  
Calliope: oh! hello, jane.  
Calliope: yoU’re Um, still here?  
Jane: -snort-  
Jane: I can be gone if you’d prefer  
Calliope: no! no! its not that its jUst!  
Calliope: i’ve been remembering parts of last night and…  
Calliope: i woUld’ve thoUght yoU’d be scared away by now. :u  
Jane: Well.

She frowned at herself. Why _was_ she still here?

She… well, she didn’t know just quite where else she’d be if she wasn’t, and that’s about as good a reason as any, right?

Jane: Because, Cali  
Jane: I… think I love you both  
Jane: and  
Jane: if you’ll have me  
Jane: I’d like to stay just a bit longer.


End file.
